vagina is talking i cant
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
