Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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