Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
