I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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