their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
