YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
