Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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