We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize