i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
