Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
