She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
