Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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