omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
