I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
