the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
