He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
