Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
