I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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