Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
