My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
