you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
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i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
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well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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