I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
