Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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