I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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