hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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