You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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