Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
