ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
