Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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