dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Is Oprah even human
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
