3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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