guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
