If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My bed smells like the plague
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
