Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)

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(540): View more from Virginia

just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.

(1-828): View more from North Carolina

Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.

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(516): View more from New York

Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(609): View more from New Jersey

it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores

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(303): View more from Colorado

If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina

(401): View more from Rhode Island

I told you those kegels would come in handy one day

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(248): View more from Michigan

I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.

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(817): View more from Texas

And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops

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