I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize