i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
