Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
