the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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