Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
