he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
