I just made out with a guy for $7.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
