She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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