he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
