im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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