do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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