I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
