Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
