Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
