My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I have feelings that need drinking.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Randomize
