There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
