but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
