If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
