It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
