Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
