My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
