and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
