Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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