So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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