lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
