I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Randomize
