...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
