i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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