Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
