idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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