And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
is it fun? or sober?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
