He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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