i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
