he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
