After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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