PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
