I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
