I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
