Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
